The Rules of a Toddler

Aug 30, 2008 Author: User ImageMommyOnTop | Filed under: Funnies, Parenting

Here’s something I chanced upon while doing some research. Okay I was browsing through the net while reasearching.

I found this on LoveThoseKids, a very useful manual for parents who have toddlers.

The Rules of a Toddler
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be removed.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

And last, but definitely not the least…

If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

*Credits to Rockomaha.


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8 Responses for "The Rules of a Toddler"

  1. Aha!

    Some more…

    If it is dry, I must wet it
    If it is wet, I will cry
    If my parents are relaxed, I must annoy them

    They’re fun nonetheless… toddlers are a joy

    Rate this:
    3.2

  2. Very cute and so true…

    Rate this:
    3.4

  3. Nice additions, GM T!

    And yes, Nina, they are sooooo true! Most parents are annoyed whenever toddlers “adhere” to these rules, but if you compiled them this way, they are the cutest things, really.

    :)

    Rate this:
    3.2

  4. This is so cute meng ; ) Can I put this in my blog please?…hehehe

    Rate this:
    2.5

  5. Grab away Jeng! I’m sure your readers will enjoy them as well!

    Rate this:
    3.2

  6. You apparently have met my little hellion :)

    and I can add:

    if it is a pen, it must be used as a fork.
    if it is a fork, it must be used as a comb.

    if the toy was expensive, I prefer the box it came in.

    Rate this:
    2.5

  7. [...] reading through my usual blogs the other day, I came upon a post from Mommy on Top that I enjoyed, so I thought I’d share [...]

  8. Describes my toddler perfectly! I just wrote about this in my blog :)

    Rate this:
    3.5


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